Having sex after giving birth is something that new parents talk about in new parent groups. Most women are recommended to wait about six weeks before resuming intimacy, however it all depends on the individual.
Many women who have sex soon after birth experience pain during penetration, also known as dyspareunia. This can be due to vaginal dryness or hormones, and should improve over time.
Vaginal Bleeding
Whether you delivered vaginally or by C-section, it takes time for your body to recover. In the meantime, you may experience vaginal bleeding. Your doctor will likely recommend that you abstain from sexual activity until the bleeding has stopped completely. Introducing bacteria or objects into your vagina before it has fully healed can cause infection. If you had a C-section, the incision might still be open and could become infected.
In addition, you might experience pain during penetrative sex for some time after giving birth. This is common and usually improves over time as your pelvic muscles continue to heal. You also might experience a dry vaginal area as your hormone levels return to normal, which can make lubrication difficult. Using a water-based lubricant can help.
It’s possible to get pregnant even if you are breastfeeding and your periods haven’t started yet. To avoid getting pregnant, you need to use some form of contraception every time you have sex. You will usually have a chance to talk about contraception before you leave hospital and again at your 6 week postnatal check with your midwife or GP. You can find out more about contraception on the NHS website.
Low Libido
Many women find their libido is lower after childbirth, which can be frustrating or confusing. However, it is totally normal and typically short-lived. Hormonal changes after a baby, including lowered estrogen levels that can lead to menopause-like symptoms for a few weeks, are one cause of a decreased libido. In addition, the exhaustion from caring for a newborn or nursing a baby can make it hard to focus on anything other than the task at hand.
Adding to the confusion is that many new mothers don’t know how their bodies will react to being intimate again. They may be afraid of experiencing pain or discomfort and are concerned about how their partners will feel. They are also often weeks behind on sleep and consuming food when they can get it.
The hormone prolactin is another factor that can depress a woman’s libido. This is a natural hormone that keeps your breasts producing milk to feed your baby and is released during breastfeeding. It can decrease a woman’s desire to be intimate and is an important part of the bond that develops between mom and baby.
Women who are interested in sex again should listen to their bodies and seek professional guidance to determine if they are ready. If they are not, it is perfectly fine to delay sex until the desire returns and they are healthy enough to engage in sexual activity.
Stitches or Injuries
If you had a vaginal birth, it’s normal for penetrative sex to hurt at first. It has to do with both tissue trauma and low levels of estrogen, which affect the elasticity of your vaginal tissues. However, painful sex isn’t just about being new to sex; it can also be a sign of underlying issues, such as pelvic pain syndrome (PPPS).
It’s a good idea to wait until you’re healed before returning to sex. Most doctors recommend waiting at least six weeks, if not longer. During this time, you may experience lochia, or healing bleeding, and your uterus is vulnerable to infection, so anything put in the vagina—including intercourse and feminine products such as tampons—can introduce bacteria that cause infections.
If you had a C-section, it’s important to wait even longer. During C-section deliveries, your cervix is often dilated. If you rush into sex while it’s still open, it can introduce bacteria directly into your uterus, which causes infection and increases the risk of complications, such as hemorrhage or a uterine rupture. You should discuss when it’s safe to resume sexual activity with your doctor, and if you’re uncertain about how to proceed, it’s a good idea to talk to your partner. He or she can help you decide the right pace for your sexual relationship.
Feeling Tired
Many new moms don’t feel ready to resume their sex life immediately after birth, and that’s OK. Depending on the delivery method, you may have to wait a while to be able to slip back into penetrative sex because the risk of complications is highest during the first two weeks. In addition, your practitioner will want to see you again within six weeks to check on you and the baby and make sure all postpartum bleeding has stopped.
Added to that, you’re probably exhausted from sleep deprivation and caring for the baby. You might also be experiencing the baby blues or postpartum depression, which can further dampen sexual desire. If you don’t feel your libido coming on, try some intimacy exercises that don’t involve penetration.
If you have a partner, talk about your feelings and decide together when you’re both ready to resume sex. Be sure to use a lubricant, since the hormonal changes after pregnancy can leave your vagina drier than normal. Be patient and don’t rush into it if you have pain during sex or if it feels uncomfortable. With time and care, you can bring pleasure to your relationship again in ways that are meaningful for both of you. Just be sure to practice safe parenting and use backup birth control until you’re cleared for sex by your practitioner.
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