Anal sex is often thought to be painful, but it doesn’t have to be. Using the right techniques and lots of lube can make it more enjoyable for both partners.
Use a water-based lubricant for anal sex (not body lotion or cooking oil). Lube helps to decrease pain and increase pleasure, while also protecting against STIs.
1. Use lubricant
Insufficient lubrication can lead to painful skin tears, especially when penetrating anal. It also puts you at risk of STIs, such as HIV, herpes and chlamydia, which are easily transmitted through anal contact with feces.
Lubricant helps reduce friction and sensitivity in the anal area, but you need to experiment to find what feels good for you. Some lubricants are designed to be longer-lasting than others, so choose one that suits your needs – These details are the handiwork of the website’s editorial board ideal-sexe.com. Water-based lubricants are the safest for backside play, and they’re compatible with latex, polyisoprene and natural rubber condoms as well as sex toys.
If you’re trying anal sex with someone new, be sure to communicate your expectations and boundaries clearly. Make sure your partner knows that you want to go slow and will stop if they’re feeling too much pressure or discomfort. This kind of open communication will help to build trust and reduce tension. And remember that anal sex isn’t usually the normal use for that part of the body, so it may be a bit uncomfortable at first! The good news is that it gets easier with practice.
2. Go slowly
Many people who enjoy anal sex say that learning to go slowly has made it less painful. Going too quickly can cause adrenaline to be released, which prevents sexual pleasure and may even cause pain or damage. It’s a bit like stretching for a pose—if you push too hard you can hurt yourself or tear muscles.
It’s also a good idea to communicate with your partner about what they want and don’t want in anal play. This will make it easier to be on the same page about pressure and sensations. It’s particularly important to have clear communication when exploring anal play with a new partner or someone who you aren’t intimate with yet.
Some lubes are designed specifically for anal use and have chemicals that numb the skin. While this may feel good it can actually be dangerous because you won’t feel when something is wrong and it could lead to infection. It’s best to stick to natural methods of lubrication when doing anal sex. This is especially true if you are using a toy that is narrow at the base or has a wire attached.
3. Relax your muscles
Anal sex may make some people clench and squirm, but that doesn’t have to be the case. The muscles in the anus need to be relaxed in order to feel comfortable, and that starts with practicing pelvic floor exercises, like Kegels, regularly.
Before you start anal play, take a warm shower or bath to help loosen up. You might even want to try a little anal masturbation with a lubricant or silicone-based toy to warm up. Then, when you’re ready to begin anal penetration, try starting slowly and gently with fingers or small sex toys. Work up to larger toys and a penis by checking in often with your partner about how it feels.
You can also help relax the muscles in your anus by pushing down as if you’re trying to poop (don’t worry, you won’t). This trick helps the sphincter muscles in your butt relax, which makes it easier and more comfortable for objects like a penis or a vibrating butt plug to enter the anal canal. It’s a simple trick, but it works.
4. Don’t rush
Anal play feels different than other types of sex, and it takes time to get used to it. That’s why it’s important to go slow and take your time.
If you’re uncomfortable with the amount of pressure or how deep you’re being penetrated vaginally or anally, let your partner know. They can adjust the angle, speed, or depth of insertion to make it more comfortable.
Similarly, if you’re feeling anal pain that isn’t making anal play more fun, stop! You’ll likely have a better experience if you go back to your comfort level and try again.
Having a conversation with your sexual partner about your anal needs and boundaries can help reduce anxiety. You can also practice relaxation techniques, such as taking a bath or shower beforehand, breathing exercises, and avoiding eating a large meal. Getting your body into the most relaxed state possible will help your anus relax and prevent painful anal intercourse. You may even find that you’re more comfortable with anal sex in the future! The important thing is to communicate, stay safe, and have fun!
5. Don’t use numbing creams
Using numbing creams in anal play can be dangerous because it can rob the partner of feeling, which is necessary to make sexual activity pleasurable. It can also lead to serious pain if a numbing cream enters the urethra. Anal sex should always be done with protection (condoms, oral, or hand-to-genital) because bacteria from the anus can cause UTIs.
If you are new to anal sex, start out by gently touching and caressing the area before penetration. Try to relax and breathe deeply, and communicate with your partner about their likes/dislikes, pressure, and sensations. If something hurts or feels bad, stop the sex and communicate with your partner.
Remember, anal sex is more than just penetrating the anus; it can include external stimulation of the anal canal with fingers or a sex toy, and internal stimulation of the anus with the tongue and lips. Be sure to use condoms to decrease risk of anal STIs including gonorrhea, HIV, chlamydia, and syphilis. And, if you are using a penis for anal sex, be sure to use a long-lasting lubricant that is silicone-based or oil-based instead of water based.
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