Oral sex is a pleasure technique that can lead to other kinds of sex, but it’s important to talk to your partner and make sure everyone feels safe. Using barrier methods is always a good idea, since spit is drying to genital tissue.
Oral sex (also called rimming) is a great orgasm for both men and women. Read on to learn how to simulate this sensation at home.
1. Talk to your partner
Whether it’s as foreplay or the main event, oral sex can be extremely satisfying. But before you dive in, it’s important to have a conversation with your partner about what they like and dislike about the sensation.
Talking about this can help you figure out how to approach the situation and find a way to enjoy it together. For example, if your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with mouth-to-mouth contact, you can try focusing on other areas of the body. Or, if they don’t like tongue play, you can use a sex toy to simulate it. You might also ask if they have any fears about STIs (herpes, gonorrhoea and syphilis are all transmitted through skin-to-skin contact).
Once you’ve had the talk, it’s time to start pleasure mapping each other. You can do this by experimenting with different techniques, pressures and speeds on various erogenous zones. “Being in control of one’s own pleasure is a huge turn on for many people, so don’t be shy to give them guidance with your fingertips or hands,” explains erotic educator Taylor Sparks, founder of online intimacy shop Organic Loven.
Remember to listen to your partner’s feedback, too. If they say they don’t like it, that’s their answer and you should respect it. On the other hand, if they want to explore the sensation more, you can offer to use a barrier method—like a condom or a dam—to reduce their risk of infection and make the experience less painful and messy.
2. Barrier methods
Oral sex, also known as fellatio, cunnilingus and anilingus involves using the tongue and lips to stimulate or receive sexual pleasure from your partner’s penis, vagina or anus. It’s commonly used as a warm-up act or foreplay before sexual intercourse but can be pleasurable in its own right. However, it can expose you to Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) or infections because physical contact with genital fluids and faeces is inevitable.
One way to minimise the risk of infection is to use barrier methods. These are a type of condom or dental dam designed to prevent bodily fluids from passing between people and can be purchased online or from some pharmacies. It’s important to ensure the barrier is big enough to cover your partner’s genitals or anus when performing oral sex and that you use a water-based or silicone lubricant.
A barrier like a dental dam can be made at home by removing the tip and rolled end of a male condom with scissors then cutting it lengthways from bottom to top to make a single piece of latex that can be placed over the vulva or anus during oral sex. It’s recommended to hold one side of the dam against your partner’s anus or vulva and lick the other side of the dam, never turning it over.
3. Mouth-to-mouth
Many penis owners fantasize about giving themselves oral pleasure and practicing fellatio or cunnilingus. But, it takes two to tango (or cuddle) and finding someone willing can be challenging. Even if you are skilled at giving yourself a blowjob, it still doesn’t feel the same as having another person do it to you.
Luckily, there are some ways to simulate the sensation of blowjobs with things you already have around the house. Using toys that aim to replicate the sensation of lips, tongue, and throat action can be fun and kinky. There are a number of new and interesting toy options out there that can create a variety of sensations and mimic the shape of a real mouth. For example, there are suction toys that can give a strong suction similar to a partner’s mouth. Then there are toys that simulate the motion of licking, flicking, and tapping. These toys can also provide vibrations that can be akin to a partner’s clitoris.
Another option is to use a lickable lube and mimic the sensation of licking the back of your own neck. You can also try applying a little lube to your clitoris, balls, and perineum and then stroking and kissing, or even sucking. The slick feel can be a turn on in its own right, and it can add to the sensual experience of oral play.
4. Masturbation
Masturbation can be one of the most effective ways to simulate a blowjob. It feels very similar to an actual blowjob and can give you a great orgasm. It’s best paired with a good amount of lube and it works especially well when you do licking, flicking, tapping and pumping on your penis or clitoris.
You can also try a little bit of penetration on your penis if you want to add that sexual element. You can use a toothbrush that has been moistened with lube or even a piece of food. Putting Jello on your penis might seem like a fun idea as shown in the movie American Pie, but it’s messy, sticky and not very satisfying in the long run. A better option would be a piece of banana that has been cut into the right size to penetrate your penis. Watermelon and muskmelons are also good options.
Another way to use masturbation to simulate a blowjob is to make your own home made sex toy. It’s not as difficult as it sounds to create a DIY mouthpiece that will feel very realistic and that can be used in the privacy of your own home. You will need a glass, two dish sponges that you have wet, a latex glove and lube. You can also add a bit of bubble wrap for an extra sensation.
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