A woman’s libido can take a big hit while breastfeeding. This is due to falling estrogen levels and an increase in oxytocin.
It can also be caused by tender breasts and nipples, lack of vaginal lubrication, leaking milk, and discomfort. It is important to communicate with your partner and explore alternative ways of being intimate together.
Hormonal Changes
When a woman breastfeeds, she naturally releases the hormone oxytocin. It’s a great hormone for maternal bonding and helping your milk production. However, oxytocin also lowers your libido. That’s because it inhibits the release of estrogen and progesterone, which are what normally spur arousal during sex.
The lowered estrogen and progesterone levels can also leave your vaginal area feeling more dry, which can make for uncomfortable intercourse. Add to that the sleep deprivation of new motherhood, and a low libido is almost guaranteed.
And don’t forget that the same hormonal changes that help breastfeeding work against your sex drive can affect the dad, too. Testosterone levels tend to drop with a new baby, which can also lead to lower sexual interest.
It’s important to remember that this is normal. Many women find that their libido returns to where it was before pregnancy when they stop breastfeeding. And for those that continue, the lack of libido is usually short-lived. Just be sure to use a good lubricant that won’t interfere with your breastfeeding or cause leaks of your breast milk during sex. It’s also a good idea to try and have some sex during the day or when your partner is awake, rather than just at night, to keep things fresh. This way, you’ll get some sex in during times when you are more able and motivated.
Physical Changes
During breastfeeding, women’s hormone levels fluctuate and the prolactin (a milk-producing hormone) may reduce estrogen and testosterone, which play a role in sexual desire. But despite these hormonal changes, a new mom’s libido can also take a dive because of sensory and other physical issues, including the fact that she is nursing her baby many times throughout a 24 hour period, which may feel uncomfortable, cause her to have leaking breasts during orgasm, and not be able to give her partner all the satisfaction she wants.
Those sensory changes can be compounded by fatigue, which is common in new mothers. Many new moms are exhausted from taking care of a newborn, and even when they get enough sleep, they’re often awakened by cries during the night. Then there are all the other daily responsibilities, like cleaning, cooking, and working outside the home.
And finally, there’s the appearance factor: Many new moms’ bodies change significantly during pregnancy and breastfeeding. They’re swollen from excess fluid, their backs are sore and tight from sleeping in weird positions, and they have that “baby fat,” which can make them self-conscious about how they look. All of these factors can contribute to a decrease in sexual desire, even when the hormones have returned to pre-pregnancy levels. It can help for a partner to remind a mom that she’s gorgeous, no matter how her body looks now.
Psychological Changes
Many breastfeeding women feel insecure about their new bodies. This can be exacerbated if the breastfeeding is painful or taking a long time. Some women also worry about their weight, particularly if the baby is fat or they have lost too much weight since giving birth. If this is the case, moms should make an effort to remind themselves that they are great – no matter what they see in the mirror!
In addition to this, breastfeeding can cause a woman’s libido to decrease because of low levels of estrogen. Estrogen is responsible for the lubrication of the vagina, so when it’s low, it can make sexual pleasure less desirable. Likewise, the hormone prolactin, which is also released during breastfeeding, reduces a woman’s desire for sexual activity.
A lack of libido can be caused by sensory-related issues as well, such as the fact that breasts full of milk may not be very erogenous. In this case, stroking the back of the breasts or gently licking the nipples can create pleasure and help to overcome these obstacles.
A lack of libido can also be caused by the stress of breastfeeding, especially if it’s difficult or a long process. In this case, mothers should talk to their partner about how they are feeling and work on ways to increase their feelings of intimacy together.
Relationship Changes
Having a baby changes a mother’s body in many ways, both inside and out. Whether it’s the hormonal changes, lack of sleep or the physical changes like vaginal dryness, breastfeeding can have a significant impact on new moms and their sexual desires. But, it’s important to remember that these changes are temporary and that, statistically, a woman’s libido will increase after weaning.
One of the main reasons why a woman’s interest in sex is low during breastfeeding is because of the hormone oxytocin. This hormone is released when you cuddle your baby, gives you an orgasm when you breastfeed and makes new moms feel a strong desire to be affectionate with their partners.
Another reason why a new mother may have less of an interest in sex is because ovulation is stopped when you’re breastfeeding. This also lowers estrogen levels which can lead to decreased arousal and sex drive.
The good news is that your sex drive will return to normal with time, and a bit of strategic planning can help you and your partner find a comfortable way to reconnect in the bedroom. You can use lubrication, plan sex dates in advance and talk openly with your partner about your feelings to get through this phase of your relationship. It will be worth it in the end!
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