Sex is a major part of many couples’ relationships. When couples go too long without sex, it can affect their emotional intimacy and sexual satisfaction.
There are many reasons why sex may not be happening in your relationship. This could include health issues, work schedules, or an emotional disconnect.
If you and your partner are going too long without sex, it’s important to have an honest conversation. Here are some tips on how to have that talk.
1. You’re feeling unsatisfied
Sex is not a prerequisite for a healthy relationship, but it is an important component of many couples’ lives. It can boost intimacy, create a sense of closeness, and even be fun. That’s why it can be distressing when a couple goes through a dry spell, which can make some feel like their relationship is on the rocks.
In fact, it’s normal for couples to go through a sex-free period at some point during their relationship, especially later on when they’ve settled in. This could be due to a number of things, including health concerns, body image issues, or mental health struggles.
It can also happen because they’re focusing on other aspects of their relationship and may neglect sex as a result. In such cases, it’s up to the couple to discuss what they want from their relationship and find a compromise.
In general, it’s better to address the issue sooner rather than later. This way, you can work on solving the underlying problem and rejuvenating your intimacy levels. It also gives you the opportunity to determine if there are any other factors at play, such as a lack of communication or external pressures. If that’s the case, you can tackle those problems together and re-establish your lovemaking. Alternatively, you can seek the help of a professional who can guide you through the process.
2. You’re worried about your partner’s health
Sex can be an important part of a relationship, but it’s not the only thing that makes a healthy one. The emotional and psychological connections a couple forms are also crucial to their happiness. That’s why it can be worrying when those connections start to wane.
It’s normal for a couple to go through a period of no sex. However, if it comes to a complete stop, this could be a red flag that something is wrong with the relationship. This may include a lack of interest, lifestyle changes (such as increased work or travel), physical issues like injury or illness, and/or hidden resentments.
If you’re concerned about your partner, it’s best to discuss this with them and find out what they need from the relationship. It’s also a good idea to seek guidance from a specialist, such as a couples counselor.
The answer to the question of how long is too long without sex in a relationship will differ for each couple. For some, a month might feel like a lifetime, while for others, it might be just a brief blip in their relationship. But if the issue is serious, it’s important to address it early on. This will give you the best chance of reviving that spark in your relationship. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to do this.
3. You’re feeling neglected
In any relationship, it is normal for sexual desire to ebb and flow. However, when a couple starts to prioritize other aspects of their relationship over sex, it can be a red flag that there’s a problem.
For example, if your partner often leaves you for long periods of time, goes out with their friends, or even takes a nap during sex, this is a sign that they are prioritizing other things over your relationship and that their needs are not being met. This could also be a sign that they are struggling with something like body image or mental health issues and need to work through these issues before they can return to a healthy level of intimacy.
It’s important to discuss these feelings with your partner, and do so in a way that doesn’t come across as accusatory or aggressive. Use “I” statements and ask them how they are feeling, and encourage them to voice their anxieties and concerns without feeling judged.
If they are unable to talk about their feelings, consider seeing a counselor who can help them navigate the conversation. Whether they need to work through an unfulfilling job, are struggling with personal mental health issues, or are adjusting to the role of parent, these issues may have a direct impact on their sex drive.
4. You’re battling mental health issues
In the beginning of a new relationship or marriage, sex is exciting and couples can often hardly keep their hands off each other. But over time, it’s normal for sex to decline. For some, the frequency of sex can even fall off completely.
This happens more frequently than you might think, especially if life gets in the way. In addition, mental health issues can affect libido and sexual desire. If you and your partner are battling mental health issues like depression or anxiety, it may take longer to rejuvenate intimacy levels.
While experts agree that sex is essential to a healthy relationship, there are plenty of couples who choose not to engage in it. Some couples simply don’t find sex enjoyable or feel that they have enough intimacy in other ways. This is fine and can be beneficial to a relationship.
However, if you and your partner aren’t satisfied with the amount of physical intimacy you have together, it might be time to talk about it. Fortunately, you can reignite intimacy levels by increasing communication and acts of service and addressing any sexual issues that may be contributing to the dry spell. With patience and effort, tackling this issue will help you to rekindle the spark of your love for each other. If you and your partner need additional support, a therapist or couples counselor can be of great assistance.