Many women fall for the trap of dating men who only want sex. They get swept up in the sexual tension and overlook red flags that indicate their guy only wants to hook up.
It’s time to stop assuming all men are pukey sleazebuckets who only want sex. What men really want is a woman’s openness and feminine energy.
1. They’re not in the mood
Men tend to separate their interest in a person from their sexual desire. That’s why they might build a relationship with someone who doesn’t have the same sexual attraction as them and then find themselves suddenly wishing that they had never met.
If a guy you’re dating repeatedly brings up sex or tries to flirt in ways that aren’t sexual, it might be time to consider whether you really have more than a fling going on. If you’re interested in developing a deeper connection with him, try steering the conversation to topics that aren’t sexual or asking about his interests outside of work. He might respond positively if he is actually interested in getting to know you on a more intimate level.
It’s also possible that he doesn’t feel up to having sex right now, but he wants to have it in the future when he feels more in the mood. Stress from work or family and other factors can have a negative impact on libido, so it’s normal that he might want to wait until a more appropriate time.
It can be heartbreaking to get attached to a man who only wants sex, but it’s important to pay attention to the behavior patterns that you see over time. If you notice that a guy only seems to want sex, save yourself the heartache and move on before it’s too late.
2. They’re not interested in you
Men aren’t as good at reading signals as women, so if your guy only talks about sex and nothing else, that could be because he doesn’t see you in anything other than a sexual light. If he were interested in you, he would be eager to talk about other things and share his life with you outside of the bedroom.
Another way to tell if your guy is only looking for sex is by seeing how he treats your friends and family. If he’s interested in you, he’ll want to introduce you to his loved ones so that they can get a feel for how you fit into his life. If he doesn’t do this, it’s probably because he isn’t interested in you beyond the bedroom.
You can also try chatting with him and asking him about what he’s hoping to get out of this relationship. If he immediately changes the subject, tells you that he doesn’t like labels or just says that he’s not into relationships, that could be an indication that he is only interested in sleeping with you. If he’s not interested in you, it’s unlikely that you will have a relationship that lasts. Instead, you should look for a man who is willing to give you love and respect as well as physical pleasure.
3. They don’t want to get to know you
Some guys aren’t interested in putting the effort into developing a relationship with you that includes non-sexual activities. They may just see you as an easy hookup and don’t want to put in the work of forming a real connection with you. This is fine if it’s what you want but if you don’t, look elsewhere.
Men who aren’t interested in a full-on relationship tend to keep their conversation sexy and avoid talking about anything important or serious with you. They don’t care about whether you like the news coverage of a plane crash that killed 200 people or what you think about the latest terror attack by ISIS. Essentially, they have nothing in common with you beyond their interest in you as an intimate partner.
If he only wants to meet you when he knows sex is likely on the agenda, that’s a clear sign that he is only using you for sex. He is unlikely to meet you for dinner at a restaurant or coffee at a cafe if he only wants to sleep with you.
If you have to text him multiple times to get a response or his texts are frequently left on “read”, this is another red flag that he’s only interested in sex with you. He’s not invested in getting to know you and doesn’t value your time or attention.
4. They don’t want a relationship
If you aren’t getting anything more than sex from the guy you’re dating, it’s possible that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Guys that don’t want to commit tend to be more likely to hook up with other people – even when they like you a lot.
It’s also possible that he wants sex but is resentful of having to commit to you. In that case, you’ll have to accept that he only wants sex and not a relationship. Don’t try to change his mind about what he wants – it will only lead to a lot of anger and frustration for both of you.
Another sign that he only wants sex is when he keeps the conversation sexual or at a surface level, despite your attempts to steer it in a different direction. Guys who want to build a relationship will be able to talk about other things besides sex and make an effort to learn more about you.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether you want to continue to see this guy. If you do, then it’s important to spend time with him outside of the bedroom and show him that you are more than just a hookup. This will help him realize that he has made a mistake and may decide to give your relationship more of a chance.